Carrot on a Stick

The elusive carrot on a stick; a moving target; an endless to-do list; the never-ending black hole of โ€œurgentโ€ things. Are you familiar?

When I set out to do my taxes for the first time ever (thanks for all the years of help Dad ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ) PLUS my first years business taxes, I was totally overwhelmed. To get motivated to tackle this challenge, I told myself I could get my nails done if I turned my tax documents in to my CPA before the deadline.

Well, I spent over 25 hours across 3 weeks organizing every detail, line item by line item, tackling the learning curve full-on. And I did it! I accomplished my goal, got my stuff to my CPA, and that was that. Woohoo! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป

But then came time for the reward. Iโ€™d earned my fresh spring nails, as promised. ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿฝ But as I began to acknowledge and celebrate my tax victory, the carrot-on-a-stick crept forward; the target moved; the to-do list expanded; the black hole sucked me in deeper to new urgencies vying for my attention.

I caught myself being sucky at keeping my promise to myself, so I drug myself to the nail salon and got โ€˜em done. But instead of cheering myself on and celebrating, I felt heavy shame and guilt the entire hour I was there. Like an imposter, a fake, someone cashing in on a reward that wasnโ€™t theirs to take.

WHAT THE HECK?!?@*# Do yโ€™all ever do this to yourselves?! Iโ€™ve been paying more attention to the promises I make to myself, and the ways I love myself in comparison to how I love the people around me. Itโ€™s not always pretty yโ€™all. ๐Ÿ˜ฃ But Iโ€™m working on kicking shame and condemnation to the curb, and showing integrity, love, and grace to myself as if I were caring for my besties.

Today I celebrated achieving my weekend goals by flaunting my fresh toes at the Springs, but this time, sans shame. โ˜€๏ธ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ’– Now itโ€™s your turn: whatโ€™s one small goal + reward you can set this week to celebrate your little victories? Only answer that if you want accountability, okeyyy?! ๐Ÿ˜‰